I wouldn't miss the trivial conversations

For an introvert, there are many social situations that I prefer to avoid. For example, I really enjoy getting together with a few friends, talking, chatting, and having a good time with them. But when it comes to a large gathering of friends with many people, I no longer enjoy it; instead, it causes me a bit of stress and anxiety. Those who know me well are aware of this and do not pressure me to be in places like these.

However, I also have friends whom I care about deeply and who sometimes want me to be part of important moments that include many other people. This becomes quite a challenge for me because, although I do it because I know it is important to the person who invited me, I honestly do not want to be there. So, as soon as I read this week's topic and the option of a social obligation, I immediately thought of this.

I've dealt with this my whole life, and I sometimes feel that for society in general, the right thing to do is to always be with people, in noisy places full of lights, and if you don't enjoy it, you're weird or wrong. I've learned over time that I'm an introvert and that, although I don't think being an extrovert is wrong, I'm less into noise, commotion, and loud laughter. Explaining this to others has been the most difficult part, because part of my family and almost everyone around me are naturally extroverts.

So most social obligations are an invisible burden for me; you know, those manners that force you to have completely trivial conversations when you long with all your might for a deep or even peculiar conversation. And based specifically on this, on those trivial conversations that seem to have been written to be repeated, this is one of the burdens I have carried the longest and will have to carry.

For me, a trivial conversation is quite exhausting, and I find it very difficult to be present when I have one; superficial topics are a way of killing me. And I should clarify that this does not mean that someone who feels comfortable with these types of conversations is wrong; I simply do not enjoy them, and they are a burden to me.

If for some reason I could eliminate them today, I wouldn't think twice; I feel that if they didn't exist, it would be much easier to really get to know the people you interact with. For me, a deep conversation is sharing what you really think about something, but something that has nothing to do with how someone looks and absolutely nothing physical.

In my case, there would be no void, because it would be immediately filled with something that, from my point of view, is more valuable and meaningful. Because it feels so good to be able to share what you think and feel, and for others to do the same with you; that makes life easier for me, I feel free to talk, comfortable, and super interested in what is being said.

Obviously, this desire to eliminate trivial conversations is not something I express often, because I understand that it can be misinterpreted and that people might think I am bored with my friends. But, far from that, what I really want is to be in a place where no one is afraid to let out what is so deep inside; many of those things that we sometimes only say to ourselves before going to sleep.

From my point of view, having meaningful conversations like this would make it much easier to have stronger friendships or better relationships with our family members. Call me crazy, but knowing what one of my friends would prefer in a totally hypothetical situation, which will probably never happen in real life, brings me closer to them than simply talking about the latest phone or the latest clothing trend.