Crushing the Crushes

Hello beautiful folks. Before starting let me give you guys a reminder: the content may hurt your feelings and if it do, good. Because I do not want you wasting any more of your life on crushes.

We are going to crush the crushes today.

So, I was talking to a friend the other day, having one of those conversations. She told me there was this guy at her office whom she thought was really cute and she might want to go on a date with him. But, as usual, she had no idea if he was interested.

So, I, with my usual saying said, just go up to him and give him your number or snap id?

She looked at me like I had lost my mind.
Why would I do that? That is too bold. Girls are not supposed to do that. I have to wait for him to come to me.

But why? Why give someone so much time, energy and mental space, when you do not even know whether it is a connection or a rejection?

This reminds me of the random social media advice, which of course, I truly respect because it connects with my ideology. The saying goes, “If someone rejects you or breaks up with you, THANK THEM!”
It may sounds surprising, but believe me, when someone tells you no, they are not wasting your time. They are not playing with you. They are just giving you a clear answer. You are one step closer to the love of your life.

And that advice, my dear friends, applies perfectly to crushes.

What do you mean you are going to sit there and build this person up in your head? Let them live rent-free in your heart and brain? Think about them continuously? Do you know, your brain uses 20% of your body’s total energy? Giving all this to a person who might not even know about your existence.

To me crushes are stupid.

The reason crushes stay is because we are extremely terrified of rejection. We think rejection means something is wrong with us. But in actual, there is nothing wrong. It simply means that the person does not feel the same as you do. That is it!
Some people like mangoes; some people like oranges.

If you are the mango one and the other one likes oranges, it is completely cool. Now with this you are left with two options: change yourself or them according to your taste, which is highly impossible to happen, or you can just find the right taste.

Another problem with crushes is that the longer you stay, the harsher it becomes. Because, imagination has no boundaries and reality is different. The longer they stay in your head, the more they turn into god-like being. But you do not even know what hem, you just know the version you invent d. That is not love; that is projection.

Look, it is complex yet simple, all depends on you. The second you feel a connection, say something. Start a conversation, give them your number. Say, “Hi, I find you attractive. What do you think?”

If they say yes, good. Let the connection begin.
If they say no, good too. You are free to move on.
Every crush exists for a reason. Every single one gives you something - the lesson.

And here is the thing: if you do not have the courage to tell someone that you like them, how do you expect to have the courage to be in a relationship with them? Because, relationship require communication, honesty and vulnerability. Try to differentiate between actually liking them or liking the idea of them.

The people you love should make you feel brave and courageous. If you feel paralyzed by fear, that is a information too.

So just say it, ask, open the door.

The worst is no; the best is yes. Everyoption ends with a win or a lesson.

So, stop romanticizing silence; stop waiting; and stop wasting your time. You have better things to do.

Take Care!

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Do mention your thoughts!