Study: 100% Correlation Between Hating Jews And Believing The Most Outlandish Sh**

It may take the form of attributing nefarious motives to normal behaviors when Jews engage in those behaviors, such as political advocacy.

Tel Aviv, July 2 - Researchers in an international consortium of institutions have completed a multi-year analysis that confirms a long-suspected link between antisemitism and the propensity to accept as fact the dumbest retarded drivel, the group announced earlier this week.

Teams at Tel Aviv, Stanford, Cambridge, Monash, and Princeton Universities, with adjuncts from the Universities of Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan, issued a press release this past Monday to the effect that they have cemented the statistical link between Jew-hate and believing the most outlandish sh**. The study write-up will appear in next month's journal of the Organization of Bleedingly Verifiable Idiocies that Only Universities Study (OBVIOUS).

Lead author Wellduh Noduh of Cambridge provided background for the OBVIOUS study. "This is in some ways a meta-analysis but also includes new research," he explained. "Popular wisdom has for a very long time noticed an uncanny overlap between those who hate Jews and those who, let's face it, are a few U-Boats short of a Wolf Pack, if you catch my meaning, in the critical thinking department."

"They might even seem intelligent and insightful in other aspects of their lives," he continued. "There just seems to be a blind spot when it comes to Jews, or to the collective Jewish sovereignty that Zionism represents, that distorts healthy examination of assumptions."

The study cites myriad examples of the phenomenon, primarily involving uncritical acceptance of Israeli or Jewish wrongdoing or malice as the premise for framing an event. In recent terms, that has most often taken the form of assuming the truth of reports of Israel targeting or disproportionately harming noncombatants, despite robust evidence that the sources of those reports have provided no indication that anything they say has credibility. It may similarly take the form of attributing nefarious motives to normal behaviors when Jews engage in those behaviors, such as political advocacy.

"People believe total f****** bulls*** when it comes to Jews," noted Issa Smelvoz-Chush of Monash in Melbourne. "Things that would lie far beyond the bounds of reasonable ideas about anyone else - like space lasers, control of entire industries or even governments - they just accept by default as true when it comes to Jews. It reflects poorly on non-Jews, but that doesn't bother them."

"I mean," she elaborated, "how pathetic is it, if you really believe Jews that powerful, that billions of people can't manage to wrest themselves free of a fraction of a percent of the global population, over centuries? I'd say if the conspiracy theories were true, the theorists would deserve it for being such unbelievable prats."

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