Day 1 | 30-Day Gratitude Challenge

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meetmysuperego5 years ago4 min read

August 10, 2020 | 7:45AM

Today, I'm starting this 30-Day Gratitude Challenge. I wanted to remind myself that there are a bunch of things I should be thankful for. The past few weeks has been really tough, and I'm going through a difficult time right now because of betrayal and deception. Well it kinda hurts more when it comes from someone you least expected and who matters to you a lot.

I'm writing this as a first step in moving on from all these dramas. This year has been pretty much challenging for all of us, and when I thought it couldn't get worse, here it is, proving me wrong. Seems like this pandemic isn't really the highlight of my 2020.

This year, I lost a good friend, a great colleague, a sister and a family. Not gonna go through the details but what she did really broke my heart, and caused me so much pain. Never thought this would happen to us, but yeah, shit happens.

I've been so angry and bitter for the past few weeks. I am grumpy and surrounded with so much negativity that I don't even like myself anymore. I'm tired of venting out about how disappointed and furious I am with these m#th%rf#*k@rs and how they're ignoring things like nothing happened. Its just so hard to forgive people who isn't even sorry for what they did.

But someone told me, that forgiveness isn't something that you do for others, its actually something that you do for yourself.

I've been sad for a while now, and I don't want to stay longer in this place, its just not fun being here. I have to accept that some people are just plain selfish, insenstive, disrespectful and completely stupid, that no matter how kind you are to them, it won't stop them from hurting you and there's just no logical explanation to it.

This is me freeing myself from all the hurt and pain, because I'm tired of being angry, and I don't deserve this chaos within me. I miss being at peace.

I know, forgiveness and healing won't happen as soon as I end writing this post but I believe in the saying that goes, "Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try." And I'll keep trying and trying, until the day comes that I'd be free from anger and resentment.

So the first step is me writing this gratitude journal, and enlisting 3 things I am grateful for everyday. This is to divert negativities into something more positive, and is sort of a great way of reminding myself to focus more on the good stuff.

3 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR TODAY:

Messages from people who shows that they care. I thank God, that there are friends who understand and genuinely love me even when we don't see or talk often. I love that they patiently listen to my rants and not get irritated by it and assure me that they understand how I feel and that I just needed to let it all out.
I'm also grateful for this time off from work that I get to physically get some rest and clear my mind.
Lastly, I'm grateful for the pizza I had yesterday. Happy that we have a decent pizza here in our town now and I'd get to eat one whenever I crave for it.

Here are more photos that I took yesterday. Camera used is an iPhone 11 Pro Max, then I did some enhancements in Adobe Lightroom and VSCO.