Living together is not intimacy ...

We are so emotionally illiterate that we have not come to taste eternity in an instant by loving.

The love between two souls is not always smooth. Sometimes it is a mirror that hurts, but even pain, sadness has a form and function of awakening what was dormant. Do you know why I'm talking about this? In the month of love and friendship? A powerful month where we connect with our vulnerability, our fears, our sadness, our smallness, absence, uncertainty, not knowing.

Healthy relationships also argue, they also think differently, we often feel frustrated, and insecure and it is natural that there is tension within the bond with the partner. From experience it is natural that there is tension because that makes us able to grow as a couple.

We have become emotionally illiterate, to the point of not knowing what to do with the conflict, and many times instead of facing the conflicts we just run away from them.

The link always needs patience and a lot of compassion towards one's own clumsiness and the clumsiness of others. That is, we must learn that without the acceptance of human imperfection, relationships become static statues at the service of perfect, rigid, untouchable egos where love, vulnerability, and tenderness do not live.

In love it is not about commanding and controlling, about trying to make eternal an instant in which we both inhabit silence, it is something like an instant in which the world vanishes in one's own hands.

My good friend,Ana spent years in a relationship where the couple minimized her problems and incidentally blamed her for everything to the point of scolding her and despising her decisions.

There came a time when Ana came to hide information so as not to have to endure another reprimand.

A relationship should be built in safe spaces where we can express our fears or our desires so that we are both treated with respect and support. I wish we could all understand and be clear about what it means to have intimacy that is not sex by the way.

All couples need to understand the dynamics of the bond, so we avoid being blind and lost, stagnant, without growing, evolving, inert like statues. You stay next to the couple because “he doesn't treat you badly”. But this is not true; you stay because you confuse not suffering with being well.

You accept crumbs out of fear.
They sold you that being happy is a whim, and you and I know, even if it hurts, that settling means abandoning you. To be well is not to survive so that it does not hurt. It is to understand that, if it hurts, something is not working.

You are your priority. He starts to see it, like this. I wish for a great day to integrate what we deny about ourselves "the shadow".

Janitze 💫