The Barbie Version of a Newspaper: The Guardian

The Guardian is like a Barbie Movie version of a newspaper, in the midst of the craziest times.

The level of obsequiousness unto ignorance is unmatched.

The Doom busters article here is one example of the stages of denial one must be in in order to live a life of drunkenness and illusions. In the world of The Guardian:

1. Ukraine has defeated Russia, it's just not clear from the statistics yet! Really, Ukraine has a higher body count and that means the war is going great!
2. Sound of Freedom wasn't released.
3. UFO disclosure never happened and the hearings this week also didn't happen. You were reading the Onion, don't forget! It's just satire, no actual government employee came on the record to disclose formerly top secret information to the US public on public record!
4. Artificial Intelligence models haven't been made open source that loosen the grip of tyrants over their populations via superior tech! We're still operating in a cart-and-oxen tech age! Flip phones!~
5. Society isn't imploding!!! We have peaceful civil discourse and everyone's on board with the Barbie-land ignorance of the 70's!
6. Television and news isn't filled with proof that civilization is collapsing rapidly into violence, mobs and despotism!
7. One more time, chant with us: Sound of Freedom didn't happen!

... Yeah we're all getting along swimmingly and people aren't polar opposites:

.... The sheer dread from the journalists, quaking behind their computers is palpable. They know what's up but they dig themselves deeper into the sand:

But it gets better further in the article, as full blown existential terror grips the authors:

6. I feel my best days are behind me! (What oppressive hopelessness? Who are you kidding, these are the most cheerful optimistic days financially, and full of meaningful life!)
7. The kids spend all day on their screens - That's right, kids are doing great academically!

... Oh...

The following are actual headlines in the article followed by my commentary:
8. We all live in our own tiny echo chambers - (We're not more disconnected and will not be able to reconcile ! We're living in the "meta verse" that's all!)
9 Are conspiracy theories really on the rise? - Again, Sound of Freedom was never released. Oprah is not a gay sex blackmailer and she did not sponsor John of God the rapist.
10. Growing old fills me with dread
11. The internet is rotting my brain
12. Kids today are just a bunch of snowflakes - Weakness? What weakness in the next generation? They are great at Tik Toks and harrasing workers until they are arrested for pranks and vile mischief.* The epitome of civilized discourse is flowering on Earth!*
13. Is it likely that an asteroid will wipe out all life on Earth? (Will God destroy us suddenly for all our sins? No, not to worry, this article will help you remain ignorant in Barbie land!)
 

Everything's fine, guys.

...Oh...

(US gov engineer brings home software that would give access to 77 military bases)