The Magick of this Moment (and Not Looking Back)
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As I stepped into my 32nd year on Earth I looked back.
The day after my birthday I opened up a box of memories from my past. The box contains photographs, journals, letters from pen pals and past lovers from about 12 years ago. In some ways this was a good experience and in other ways bad, as you might imagine.
When looking back I see the seeds that were planted back then, 19, 20, 21, and 22 year old me who was finding her way, falling in love with men and with magick. I am so glad for those years, however bittersweet.

I won't hide from you (dear reader) that walking too long down memory lane doesn't lead anywhere in particular. I spent some time in the past and brought back some hidden gems but also shed too many tears thinking of people I used to love and cherish who aren't in my life at all anymore.
Yesterday I decided: no more tears. No more looking back! I wondered if ten years from now I would regret these weeks of reminiscing when I could have been appreciating my current situation.
I am here, now, and want to full embrace the magick of this moment.
A few nights ago I gazed into the full moon as she reigned over the mountains. I never had these sorts of views as a child growing up in densely populated California suburbs. And later on, living in the biggest university town in Oregon I had views of houses and was surrounded by people I never had the space or time to do any ritual under the full moon.
And as for foraging and gathering herbs I tried my best in community gardens and alongside pathways. Now I live between stands of blackberry and rose, the perfect setting for a green witch to learn and grow.
It seems so fitting that in this time when I am healing from heart break that I find myself living in a place with the most potent heart medicine ~ the rose. The dried petals I add to teas and herbal oils but, these precious blossoms are destined for my altar and as ingredients of spell jars for self love and acceptance. I've made so many mistakes with friendships, love, and work in the past. Still, I have learned from those mistakes.
((welcome to now))
I need to trust in the wisdom I had, nearly 10 years ago when I decided to move on and search for a new life where my art and magick could grow.

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