Blurt.media Blues Radio - Blurt.blog 9 to 5

by @offgridlife on OGMedia
View my bio on Blurt.media:

I used to sing the nine-to-five blues
Now I get paid
For extremely important nonsense

[Verse 1]
Roll outta bed, robe half-tied
Coffee tastes like a tax audit ride
Open my screen, get my daily log
“Congratulations, sir, you’re paid to blog”
Clickity-clack, look at this hog
I just wrote 12 lines on a neighbor’s dog
Somehow, someway, in this cosmic fog
There’s money in my rambling on Blurt.blog

[Chorus]
I’m blurtin’ my blues away
Gettin’ paid to over-share my day
Type, type, baby, that’s my job
Stampin’ silly on the feed at Blurt.blog
I’m blurtin’ my blues away
Every rant earns a tiny buffet
Who knew my brain could ever pay
I’m blurtin’ these blues away

[Verse 2]
[low vocal register]
Now Blurt.media’s got me feelin’ grand
Tiny short films shot with shaky hand
Fifteen seconds of my cat on a chair
Close-up shot like a billionaire
Dutch angle cereal pour in a bowl
Art-house milk, existential soul
They call it “content,” I call it “weird”
But the tips hit different when my beard appears

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
[whispered vocals]
Storyboard scribbles on a grocery bill
One wide shot of a falling dill pickle
Cut to my face in dramatic despair
Zoom so close you can count nose hair

[deep vibrato]
Critics say, “Sir, what’s the theme of this scene?”
I say, “Cashback points and caffeine”
If it makes ‘em grin, if it makes ‘em click
That’s auteur cinema on a budget stick

[Verse 3]
I’m at the café in my house shoes
Writing think-pieces about yesterday’s news
“Philosophy of leftover fries at dawn”
Publish that mess, watch the coins respawn
Friends ask, “Man, how you earn your keep?”
I say, “I overshare, then I go to sleep”
They clock in strong, I clock in odd
Deep voice hummin’ to the gods of Blurt.blog

[Chorus]

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