Parenting is something you learn on the job, so just roll with it!

From the day my daughter was born I’ve made every effort to be involved in her upbringing. I taught her how to walk, how to speak, how to read and write, how to ride a bike, and how to crash it too. I even taught her how to swim, which took an absolute age but the reward was incredible. Some things we taught each other, like how to backflip on a trampoline. I remember all these things like they were yesterday and I never forget the feeling of seeing my little princess wearing that huge smile of accomplishment. Parenting has been the best experience of my life and nothing will ever make me feel so proud of myself. I am a good father and my daughter, who is now 18, has turned out to be an amazing young lady. Of course, there have been hard times and many many arguments. I’ve been told to “fuck off” more times than I’d have wanted to but on some occasions I have to admit that I probably deserved it. I’ve made mistakes like all parents do but I’ve tried my hardest never to let her down and always be there for her when she needs me to be. Inevitably, as the years go by you become less involved and more of a background character, until you’re summoned that is. The early teenage years were certainly the hardest, as they often can be for both parent and child. Nobody writes a manual and nobody should. Every child is different as is every parent. We go by our past experience mixed with instinct and intuition. Some time it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you get results and other times you get the entire blame for their failures. But you take it all on the chin. You take the wins with the losses and, most important of all, you never quit.

I’ve made many sacrifices for my daughter’s sake and I’ve never regretted a single one. She’s the reason I’ve become the person I am today. She’s the reason I’ve survived some of the darkest times in my life. Without her who knows where I’d be, and who I’d be. What I do know is that I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I look back on those early days with a huge sense of happiness and pride, and I miss them very much. But being a father to a young adult also has its pleasures. Last night was a perfect example of this, a night I spent teaching my daughter how to drive.

I’ve heard so many horror stories about parents teaching their kids to drive. Seems that taking on this challenge is very similar to opening up a game of Monopoly, carnage and tantrums being the inevitable destination. I embarked on this quest with an rational and healthy expectation of failure, however, due to past experience I also had belief in my own patients and perseverance…

Our driving lessons began at an industrial estate near where I worked and it turned out to be the perfect location. A quiet circuit of roads connected by small roundabouts, perfect for a first time driver. Best of all, the only other vehicles passing by where 40-ton trucks. Haha! That’s what I call a baptism of fire. I mean, you’re not going to be scared of other road users when you’ve learned to drive around articulated HGVs! I was sure this was the perfect place to learn, and she’s a sensible girl…

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Credit where it’s due, my girl took to driving like a duck to water. She showed very little fear and an unnerving passion for speed. We spent a good few months driving around this circuit and with every lesson my daughters confidence grew. Likewise, so did mine as an instructor. I never panicked when she clipped a kerb or drove too closely to an oncoming juggernaut, so neither did she. Keeping calm was a priority and I’d remind myself of this before every lesson. It’s also well worth mentioning that real driving instructors have the advantage of dual controls, I do not. All I have is trust, and my insurance policy.

Time has passed and we’re 1 year further down the line. Our driving lessons are much more serious and we’re using all the major roads while concentrating on those little details. “Mirror, signal, manoeuvre” I repeat. And, more often than I’d like, “Chloe, the hand brake is still on” 🤦‍♂️

A year sounds an excessive amount of time to learn to drive but we started very early and only had one lesson a week. There was no rush and I think we both just enjoyed our time together. Chloe would compliment me as an instructor as much as I’d compliment her as a quick learner and this happy partnership has led me to a possible career change.

This experience has opened an unexpected door towards a whole new career, and it’s come in the nic of time. You see, 20+ years in a trade such as mine leaves most of us with chronic back pain. I am certainly one of those guys. Recently I pulled my back (again) and this time it left me unable to walk or stand for about 2 weeks. I’ve recovered now but I’ve been left with a very sadistic sciatic nerve that is literally a pain in the arse. I can’t carry on in the trade, and to be quite honest with you all, I don’t want to either. It’s never been a job that I loved and I’ve always wanted for something different, but up until now I’ve never really known what that “something different” would be. I’ve loved teaching my daughter to drive and the feedback from her has been very encouraging. I also gave my sister a few driving lessons and she gave equal praise towards my patients and tuition. I’ve always enjoyed working with people, especially when it’s been in a learning/teaching environment and I think now is the right time to take that leap of faith and go with what fate has put in front of me. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t, but I’ll practice what I’ve been preaching in this post and persevere with what my instincts are telling me.

I have my wonderful daughter to thank for this opportunity but like most of the things she has given me in my life, she’ll be pleasantly unaware of the impact she has upon me. And that’s just how it should be. She will come to understand when it’s her turn to become the parent. I just hope she loves the role as much as I did do…